Profile
What Makes Me So Special?
This is a very serious question...I can't be the only woman on this planet who's ever turned down a woman, or just not been interested...and yet, I keep reeling in the obsessive sociopaths or I have Jenny Schechter Syndrome - a woman may be a wonderful person before she meets me, but after that she becomes a complete loon.
A was surprised that I knew what she'd been up to...IDK, it was the combination of the goose on the belly as we were leaving the restaurant and another of Kathleen's drive bys in the Beetle. Nothing concrete, but enough for my senses to start begin evaluating what I'd seen.
I'm tired of dealing with women who refuse to view me as an equal and insist that if they just keep insulting and ostracizing me, I'll finally have to seek out their company. Which in my eyes makes no sense - the funky attitude was already unattractive; the vicious cruelty just makes you even less attractive and undesirable. A relationship would be nice, but my being able to trust you shouldn't be dependent upon whether or not I refer to you as girlfriend, you know?
I've known since Arlington, what was that, 2003, 2004, that Kathleen was embarrassed about how she felt about me, which eventually had me hating myself cuz I couldn't just shut her out. And no matter what Angie says, she's always going to be pissed off that I don't return her "love." The quotes are the only way I know how to express my dubiosity (yes I'm aware that's not a word). That stuff about her and I hooking up if things don't work with Tina? Whatever. cuz my first thought when she said that was that she'd definitely do what she could to make sure I didn't hook up with anyone else. Kathleen did it. Janelle did it. (Is that what the other Tina is doing?) And throw in the Bobbleheaded Bitch (Caren!) who apparently has no soul whatsoever (throw her out on the street, I hate her hair; throw her out on the street, she was fired from a non-existent job; throw her out on the street, but only after sabotaging an excellent job offer; throw her out on the street, she's too tall; throw her out on the street, she's ugly, etc. etc. ad nauseum). How the hell do you justify leaving someone to live or die?
If I can't have you no one will.
I don't get it - the body is a wreck, I have my own personal malicious unfounded gossip squad and I'm completely alone in the world. And yet women go into absolute paroxysms of jealousy and anger when I'm not interested in them. And I'm just tired.
You know, I really just want all of these women to leave me alone. It's agreed, we're all on the same page: I'm a horrible, disgusting waste of humanity that no woman wants. And I'm definitely not pursuing anyone...so just forget I exist. The world will continue to turn - I'll be okay.